PARTNER FACING UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY?
Pregnancy can be scary. You are both going through a decision that can impact you.
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Offering help to single fathers
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"I can't picture my life without my son."
Years ago, when I was a young man, I was responsible for getting my girlfriend pregnant. We were uninformed as to what all of our options were at the time, so we ended that pregnancy. Personally, my state of mind during this season of my life was not about this living being inside of my girlfriend, but rather how we could quickly sweep this under the rug and continue on with our lives. What I didn't know was that my girlfriend was going through a physical and emotional trauma that I did not, and could not, understand at the time. I intellectually understood what the procedure meant for our child but I found a way to make an excuse in my mind about the reality of what we were actually doing.
As we continued to live life as we wanted, we also continued to spiral out of control and ended up having three more abortions. Abortion, for us, had become a form of birth control or, you might say, a quick fix. I found that I was not emotionally invested in the whole procedure, but for me it was somewhat mechanical in a strange way, a necessary evil that I accepted. What I didn't know was that ending these precious lives affected me more than I would ever know. It was only after I had accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior that my heart was softened enough for me to feel the pain that was truly there.
We now have four incredible adult children that love God. When I look into the eyes of our children I often think about the other four that are not here. There is a pain that God won't take away from us, but it’s necessary for us to stay sensitive to others. As a man I want to tell you that life is precious and, above all, God given. No child is an accident nor should he or she be treated as one. The God who creates life is the same God that can sustain life. Don't let fear dictate your decision.
To a father thinking about abortion,
My name is Tyler and I am 19 years old. My story does not start with me, but with my biological parents. My biological dad was responsible for getting my mother pregnant in 1999; however, I was not my father’s first child... I would just be the first child to have the opportunity of life.
My dad had two previous girlfriends who had abortions before my mom was pregnant with me. Those past abortions impacted my dad so much that he begged my mom not to have an abortion. She listened and made a courageous choice to have me as a teenager. He was not the only man to influence my mother’s decision. The man who had the most impact was my Grandfather. He also encouraged my mom to have me and promised to help support her if she did.
I can only imagine how tough a decision like this is. I can’t understand all that you must be thinking, but I wanted to ask you to really think about your role as a father, a protector. Your voice matters and what you care about is important. What if you could help your partner be brave? As men we must fight for our unborn children and come to the conclusion that every life is valuable. So I ask you, as a man, are you willing to fight for a purpose? Are you willing to fight for life?
Dear Father to be,
I realize that the decision you are having to make is a difficult one. There are many strings pulling in different directions causing tension and worry and maybe even hopelessness. That is probably the reason you are here today. But I want to share a little of my story with you to offer you some perspective and hope.
I am 46 years old and have a wonderful family and have had the opportunity to impact many lives through my work and coaching. What is interesting is that my mom was faced with a similar situation you may be facing right now. My mom was raped and was left with a tough decision. Should she get an abortion or have a child that was conceived through a horrible act? Both choices would have seemed acceptable under the circumstances. But here is where the story takes a turn. Despite the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy my mom chose life. She chose me.
The reason this story is so personal to me is because through my mom’s choice of life, I have been able to bring hope to others. From the beginning I believe God was with me, forming me, shaping me into the man I am today. Who would have thought or known that my life today would have such an impact on others? I can’t tell you what joy I receive by hearing my mom say she loves me and how much I have impacted her life.
I want to encourage you during this time as you make some tough decisions. One thing that I have learned in life is that no matter how bad things seem or how hopeless life may appear, God is near. He has a way of taking broken things and making them new. I am evidence of God’s handiwork.
I pray that you can find peace as you wrestle with choosing life. Because of my mom’s choice of life, I am now a son, husband, father, and a friend to many, and I have a voice that I use to bring hope and healing to others. I pray that you can use your voice to do the same, and ultimately for the voice of the life being carried. Thank you for taking time to read my story.