Is Your Partner Facing a Pregnancy Decision?
We understand that an unplanned pregnancy can leave both you and your partner feeling uncertain and upset. It may seem like abortion is a quick fix for your situation, and yet whether you and your partner choose abortion, adoption, or parenting... it is a decision that shouldn't be rushed or based off of fear. That's why we want to help you make an informed, thoughtful decision that you can feel good about. If your partner is considering abortion, here are some questions to think through...
Is your partner's pregnancy devastating to your life or is it more like an inconvenience?
Are you making this choice because it’s truly what you both want, or do you feel like you have no other choice?
Have you thought about how you and your partner may feel afterwards? Keep in mind that abortion doesn’t erase the pregnancy and let you go back to how things were before. You’ll always know she was pregnant and for some, this can be a difficult memory to carry.
If faith is a part of your life, have you considered how your beliefs may impact your emotional response to an abortion after it’s done?
Are you certain you and your partner have all the information you need to make this decision (have you thoroughly considered all your options, are you being supported in this decision, is anyone pressuring you or your partner into this decision, have you and your partner received information about fetal development and any possible risks associated with the procedure she is considering)?
Is there any part of you that feels disappointed about your partner not continuing this pregnancy?
Now is the time to dedicate yourself to supporting your partner through the decision making process. Educating yourself about all of her options (abortion, adoption, and parenting) will help her realize that she isn't alone. Click here to visit Hands of Hope Tucson's website to learn about how your partner can receive a free pregnancy test, free ultrasound, and free options counseling. If she is willing, we encourage you to join her at her ultrasound appointment so that you can see your baby and hear his or her heartbeat. We believe this is an important part of making an informed decision.
If you would like to get connected with a trained sidewalk advocate who cares about you, please contact us. He will offer you free support by listening to you, helping you sort through your situation, and connecting you with the resources that you and your partner need at this time. You can communicate with him in person, through phone, text, or email.
If your partner has had an abortion and you find you are struggling with her decision, please click here to visit Hands of Hope's website to read more about their abortion recovery services for women and men.
Years ago, when I was a young man, I was responsible for getting my girlfriend pregnant. We were uninformed as to what all of our options were at the time, so we ended that pregnancy. Personally, my state of mind during this season of my life was not about this living being inside of my girlfriend, but rather how we could quickly sweep this under the rug and continue on with our lives. What I didn't know was that my girlfriend was going through a physical and emotional trauma that I did not, and could not, understand at the time. I intellectually understood what the procedure meant for our child but I found a way to make an excuse in my mind about the reality of what we were actually doing.
As we continued to live life as we wanted, we also continued to spiral out of control and ended up having three more abortions. Abortion, for us, had become a form of birth control or, you might say, a quick fix. I found that I was not emotionally invested in the whole procedure, but for me it was somewhat mechanical in a strange way, a necessary evil that I accepted. What I didn't know was that ending these precious lives affected me more than I would ever know. It was only after I had accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior that my heart was softened enough for me to feel the pain that was truly there.
We now have four incredible adult children that love God. When I look into the eyes of our children I often think about the other four that are not here. There is a pain that God won't take away from us, but it’s necessary for us to stay sensitive to others. As a man I want to tell you that life is precious and, above all, God given. No child is an accident nor should he or she be treated as one. The God who creates life is the same God that can sustain life. Don't let fear dictate your decision.
To a father thinking about abortion,
My name is Tyler and I am 19 years old. My story does not start with me, but with my biological parents. My biological dad was responsible for getting my mother pregnant in 1999; however, I was not my father’s first child... I would just be the first child to have the opportunity of life.
My dad had two previous girlfriends who had abortions before my mom was pregnant with me. Those past abortions impacted my dad so much that he begged my mom not to have an abortion. She listened and made a courageous choice to have me as a teenager. He was not the only man to influence my mother’s decision. The man who had the most impact was my Grandfather. He also encouraged my mom to have me and promised to help support her if she did.
I can only imagine how tough a decision like this is. I can’t understand all that you must be thinking, but I wanted to ask you to really think about your role as a father, a protector. Your voice matters and what you care about is important. What if you could help your partner be brave? As men we must fight for our unborn children and come to the conclusion that every life is valuable. So I ask you, as a man, are you willing to fight for a purpose? Are you willing to fight for life?
Dear Father to be,
I realize that the decision you are having to make is a difficult one. There are many strings pulling in different directions causing tension and worry and maybe even hopelessness. That is probably the reason you are here today. But I want to share a little of my story with you to offer you some perspective and hope.
I am 46 years old and have a wonderful family and have had the opportunity to impact many lives through my work and coaching. What is interesting is that my mom was faced with a similar situation you may be facing right now. My mom was raped and was left with a tough decision. Should she get an abortion or have a child that was conceived through a horrible act? Both choices would have seemed acceptable under the circumstances. But here is where the story takes a turn. Despite the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy my mom chose life. She chose me.
The reason this story is so personal to me is because through my mom’s choice of life, I have been able to bring hope to others. From the beginning I believe God was with me, forming me, shaping me into the man I am today. Who would have thought or known that my life today would have such an impact on others? I can’t tell you what joy I receive by hearing my mom say she loves me and how much I have impacted her life.
I want to encourage you during this time as you make some tough decisions. One thing that I have learned in life is that no matter how bad things seem or how hopeless life may appear, God is near. He has a way of taking broken things and making them new. I am evidence of God’s handiwork.
I pray that you can find peace as you wrestle with choosing life. Because of my mom’s choice of life, I am now a son, husband, father, and a friend to many, and I have a voice that I use to bring hope and healing to others. I pray that you can use your voice to do the same, and ultimately for the voice of the life being carried. Thank you for taking time to read my story.